By: Saundri Luippold
Hunger never escapes me,
no matter how many words I savor
like a rich chocolate treat.
My body pleads for more,
entreats you to write, shout, sing–anything.
Every utterance is a vitamin I’m missing,
newfound pieces of gold you prospected in me.
I never delete anything,
not text messages from years ago,
with someone I still love,
nor emails starred,
with affirmation from whom I admire most,
nor comments from acquaintances,
with confirmation that my thoughts yield hope.
I keep every letter, program, faded receipt,
sticky note, phone number, newspaper,
ticket stub, birthday card, thank you note,
room key, candy wrapper, fortune,
theme park map, gift tag, parking pass, valentine.
I’ll get rid of old clothes or jewelry I don’t wear anymore,
but never let go of the love letter a boy once gave to me–
the last time I saw him, I was just seventeen,
it’s tucked away in my diary for safekeeping.
When words don’t nourish me,
I drink on an empty stomach.
Intoxication exposes the haunted rivers of my doubt.
I ask questions I should’ve kept locked in my diary.
When silence eats me away,
I immediately conceal the ache in my stomach,
and rush back to the cupboard with the stash of nourishment,
filled with overflowing journals of words I wish would satisfy.
I relish every ‘great work,’ ‘you’re pretty,’ ‘you’re an angel,’
like sparkling water,
relinquishing my parched lips’ searching.
I gather words like presents,
so when my mailbox is empty,
I always have gifts to unwrap.
‘This sweetness must linger,’ I scrawl—
yet I crave another bite.
I document everything so I never forget,
bookmark every word you once said,
scribble hearts and stars around each dialogue,
around each line I wish you’d repeat over and over again.
I find favor in every word you write and say,
I delight in words before hunger strikes me with her pangs.
Saundri Luippold is an undergraduate student at Azusa Pacific University (APU), studying English and Spanish. Her poetry has been published in Foreshadow magazine, The West Wind (APU’s literary journal), Big Wing Review, The Charleston Anvil, and is forthcoming in Gold Man Review. She loves reading and writing outside as well as listening to Taylor Swift. She writes on a personal blog, which can be found on Instagram @newromanticism13.